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September 18th, 2008
09:18 am - Futures
I am about to call the company I want to work for most for a phone interview. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. I hope this works out.
I just finished rereading the Yale law school brochure, and now I am even more excited/scared of the LSAT. The other day I told one of my coworkers that I was prepping for the LSAT and he responded with: "Do good. It will determine the rest of your life." While I already knew this per se, I don't think I had been fully conscious of it until then. I worry that my extreme desire to get in with cloud my head on test day. Not such a good thing with a 6 hour long test.
A few people have tried to talk me out of my ivy league aspirations. A few others ask why I'm not applying to Stanford or Harvard. Law school is just like college. Research is absolutely essential, so you find a college that not only looks good but also fits you. I have heard one person say they weren't happy with the university environment the whole time. Another person who graduated from Northwestern (home to one of the top ten law schools) reminded me that he worked at Amy's after graduating with a science degree. In the end, no school or degree can promise money or career success or anything, so why not pick a school that promises the experience you want. Life is supposed to be fun. If you aren't having fun overall, you are doing something wrong.
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July 13th, 2008
02:49 pm - religious lobbies
i picked this book to read and summarize called "representing god in washington" thinking it would deal more extensively with the jewish lobby on israel (a particularly interesting topic for me). boy was i wrong. basically it's 200 some odd pages of this guy talking about how bad "mainline Protestant churches" are, and all the good fundamentalist and evangelical church lobbies have done for the American political arena and America as a whole. there is even a 30 page chapter entitled "religious lobbies and congressional policy-making on church-state relations" that should really be entitled "the making of the equal access law." he even goes so far as to cite a SINGLE gallup poll as "overwhelming evidence" that the majority of Americans are religious and regularly attend church.
the annoying part isn't so much how blatantly biased he is toward religious interests. it's that he goes so far to divide the religious lobby into these factions and unabashedly promote the fundamentalist and evangelical faction while denouncing the liberal protestants. he doesnt even clarify who belongs in which category. he label the methodists, lutherans and baptists as part of the mainline churches. he identifies "black evangelicals" as a different category all together, but in listing the names of black evangelical lobbies uses methodist, lutheran or baptist in every name. at one point, he labels southern baptists as evangelicals and Falwell and Robertson and part of the mainline churches.
i think if i spent less time bitching about it and just did it, i would be done by now. im hoping this last book is more interesting. it's my last assignment ever in college.
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July 4th, 2008
06:42 pm - good times in the world of b
i got a job. an amazingly good job with great starting pay, incredible benefits, stock options, and so much room for growth. im so excited about this position.
i am also really nervous. which is a good thing. but im worried. my boss has some high expectations, which is also a good thing. but i have no experience, training or expertise in what im doing. im super pumped about the challenge. and my job description sounds like a LOT of fun. but i want to do really really well. and i kinda freak out when i make mistakes. the lack of experience pretty much guarrantees that im going to screw up some. we will see. im sure it will all be fine. i can't believe how much im going to make either.
also, dad just paid off my car payment for my graduation present.
things are going pretty well right now. now if i can just finish all my work and actually graduate :)
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June 29th, 2008
12:31 pm - fun fact
"By 1917 the Allies had borrowed one billion, nine hundred million dollars through the House of Morgan: we went overseas for democracy and the flag..."
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June 23rd, 2008
07:21 pm - gym stuff
i have lost count in the last two weeks, but i have been going to the gym between four and six times a week for the last month. im so proud of myself. i feel better physically, i am happier, i get tired less, i need less sleep. and it's only been a month!
i still need to work on nutrition. i am trying to follow the metabolic typing diet, but i have two problems. 1) i am protein type and animal protein is super expensive. im so broke it hurts. thus im not following the diet so well. 2) i have a hard time reading my body. the authors point out we spend so much of our lives feeling bad we don't really know what feeling good is like. sometimes i get stomach aches when i eat sausage. sometimes i feel better when i eat yogurt and granola. it's all a matter of paying more attention and im not exactly doing that.
i got on the scale today after doing deadlifts and i have gained roughly 3lbs. oddly enough, im hoping to gain weight since i have SO little muscle mass. im scrawny except in certain areas where i have a lot of fat. some of that fat can go i guess, but mostly i just want to fill out my frame a bit. i'd like to get up to 145. thats only adding about 6lbs of muscle.
ok now im just babbling. but i did deadlifts with 65lbs and i gained weight. im pretty fucking proud. oh and i ran 2 miles the other day. i havent done that since high school. im going to try it again tomorrow.
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June 22nd, 2008
01:22 pm - bitching
there are two compliments that, strictly as a female, i absolutely cannot stand: "you are going to be a great mother" and "have you lost weight?" i make a point to rarely pull the female/feminist card in that i consider myself an "equalist." but these two comments are so unbelievably sexist i can't help but feel sojourner truth taking shape inside me.
first, how do you know that i am going to be a mother at all, much less a good or bad one? who ever said i even wanted to be a mother? why is getting knocked up and then squeezing out an eight pound lump of meat considered the greatest achievement a woman can hope for? why is this always considered the final, respectable step for any woman? and furthermore, why is a woman somehow considered less of a woman if she never has children, as though she is somehow lacking? i understand people who give this compliment mean that i did something that demonstrates patience, caring, attentiveness, kindness, concern for others' wellbeing or whatever. but can't i just be told that i am patient, caring, attentive, kind or concerned for others' wellbeing? why must that compliment be given in the context of my potential abilities in parenting? this shouldn't be such a big deal from a feminist point of view in that i do hear people say this to men as well. it just rubs me fucking raw because i have so little desire to have children. and i know that by society's standards i would be a very poor mother.
second, why is losing weight also the ultimate goal of a woman. i can't think of a time that i have heard someone say this to a man. if the person knew that this woman had decided to lose weight and then began a routine to achieve that goal, this compliment is appropriate, whether the person's truly means it or not. however, implying a woman has lost weight should not be on par with saying her haircut looks nice or did a job well. to me, compliments like this feed into the whole appearance-based approach Americans take to their health. if they look physically fit, it doesnt matter what they put in their bodies or how they live their lives. they pass the superficial test of what a healthy person is. somewhat off topic, i also can't fucking stand people who honestly believe that "you can eat whatever you want as long as you exercise." true, if all you care about is looking attractive and you have zero concern for the health of your body.
ugh. i have no idea where this rant came from. maybe because more and more people around me are having babies and my real attitude about how i was raised is coming out. my parents were never really there for me growing up. i had to do and learn so much shit on my own, or from a variety of other important adults in my life. people like to feel sorry for me because of what i "went through." but these same people lack so many important skills that are fundamental to being successful in life, namely, learning on your how to do something you have never been exposed to. so much of that so-called neglect i experienced is the only reason i and many other people can handle just about anything.
totally random. i think this all spawned from people getting angry at me for not understanding why crating your child is considered so immoral.
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April 11th, 2008
10:41 am
while i am looking forward to doing these two very interesting papers, i am so ready for them to be done. next weekend everything gets easier. both my term papers will be done, i get work my two shifts, then GSP!!!! and then sunday is j's birthday. then just one more week of classes. then finals, which i couldnt be less concerned about. then ben comes! and then we go to california!!!!
then i have to manage to finish these three correspondence classes by july.
i have gotten so lazy about cooking. i cant believe half the shit i have been eating. i almost never eat breakfast, i eat campus food for lunch and then i get out of work at 9 or 10 and nothing healthy is open then. ugh. the whole plane ride to and from cali im going to spend reading all the health books jackson bought me a while back.
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February 6th, 2008
07:08 pm
I am so excited it hurts. I can't focus and everything is racing. I'm terrified to tell anyone why I am so excited because then everything might fall through. And this is just too awesome. I will know by next week and then I will tell everyone. However, it's not all that exciting to most anyone but me.
p.s. I'm not pregnant.
I think I.m going to start using periods for all my punctuation marks. I don.t know how my professors will feel about that. but it could be interesting.
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January 27th, 2008
03:42 pm
a language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
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December 11th, 2007
02:48 pm - going raw?
still havent found a better site than fitday, hence i have been ignoring logging in my food everyday. im pretty confident about everything i am putting in my mouth over the week, but it would be good to see what that looks like overall. i know i need to increase my exercise because right now it's at none. but im not really doing this to lose weight, even though it will be a nice benefit.
im fascinated by going to raw foods. although im not sure how i really feel about it. i realize that heat will change the properties of anything, but i dont know if it ruins food. and so far all the arguments i have read for going raw are spiritually based. not that im against being spiritual, im just not much of a spiritual person. and i dont really know if dehydrating food to prepare it would be any better. also, im not ready to give up meat, eggs and dairy products.
im pretty sold on the organic/all natural BS by this point. you know the feeling after you eat a big meal at chuy's? i used to feel that way after everything i ate. now after i eat i dont notice anything but feeling full. that's the way it's supposed to be. im excited about going nuts with this. i read the label of nearly everything i buy at the grocery store. it's AMAZING how much sodium is added to everything. and it's even more amazing how easy it is to avoid it if you just make the least amount of effort.
if anyone has any healthy recipes or organic or good raw food books to recommend let me know. or food journal site like fitday. i kinda want one where the focus isnt so much weight loss, but nutrional balance.
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